There comes a point in time where one must assess their friendships and decide whether they have established healthy relationships with the people around them. It is not uncommon for some of these relationships to be riddled with hidden agendas and ulterior motives. To make matters worse it is easier than ever to offend someone without you knowing. Below are five reasons why at least a few of your friends want you to fail and what you can do to combat that negativity.
The competitor – This is one of those rare moments where you can absolutely blame the system. With the competitive nature of a capitalistic society it becomes clear why some of your friendships aren’t as pure as you may think. We are taught from a young age that resources are limited and that we must do everything in our power to attain as much of those resources as possible. The result is that your friends are most likely competing with you, albeit secretly. If you buy a nice car, they buy a better car. You have a good-looking partner, they want a gorgeous partner. In a society based on image it is rare that said friend will look inward for their motivation.
Solution – You can’t beat the system but you can beat your friend. The best way to defeat this type of negativity is to simply distance yourself from this type of friend. If you notice that your friend is constantly trying to “one up” you then it is time to take a step back.
The Social Media Junkie – Scrolling down your timeline/news feed is easily one of the most agonizing experiences one can put themselves through, especially when done on a consistent basis. When we view the lives of our friends through social media lenses it is easy to become jaded and bitter at how our life is going. Suddenly the things that you used to enjoy don’t seem so exciting. Suddenly the experiences that you looked forward to mean less, simply because of all the electrifying things your friends are up to. Unfortunately, your friends are thinking the same thing about you and your posts. This means that it becomes a vicious cycle of negativity. Ultimately, there will be a percentage of your friends that take this a step further and wish you didn’t have so many thrilling experiences to share.
Solution – It is important to break the negative cycle by seeing it for what it really is. It is doubtful that you’ll ever know which friends secretly hate your social media posts but you can fill the cycle with positivity. It is important that you realize people will usually post their best moments online, while minimalizing the work they had to put in. Additionally, it is not uncommon for people to hide their down moments and struggles for fear of appearing weak. This means that everything appears to be candies and rainbow lollipops on the surface, but underneath there is an entire world of dumpster food. No one is perfect and everyone has their challenges. Remembering to remain positive during your down moments is key to satisfying your ego.
The Hater – We all have that one friend who is a low-key hater. But if you’re unlucky that person managed to graduate to high key. He/she constantly fills your head with negativity and brings down the mood of everyone they interact with. This type of friend doesn’t know how to keep their mouth shut with their bad intentions and constantly downgrades your accomplishments. They make it seem like what you do isn’t challenging or even worse isn’t important.
The Solution – Delete them like the backspace of a keyboard. There is no middle ground with this one. To achieve your paradise, it is critical that you surround yourself with people that are going to motivate and challenge you. Do not surround yourself with friends who berate and discourage you from getting out of bed.
The Failure – Sometimes we have a friend who simply doesn’t have their shit together. This is the type of person who somehow makes bad decisions that constantly blow up in their face. Because of this consistent failure they become bitter when they see your successes no matter how small. The old adage often holds true, misery does love company. The failure is often toxic by circumstance. Because of this, they can be salvaged if you are willing to put in the necessary time and energy.
The Solution – Being a great source of useful advice can work wonders for this type of friend. If they are hard headed it can be easier to forward them to useful websites/posts that will steer them in the right direction. Anyone can change their life once they put in the effort to change their mindset. Once the mindset is changed they can begin to change their circumstances. This is something that is easier said than done. Ultimately, if this friend doesn’t get their act together even with your assistance it may be better to let them burn in their house of misery. Use this tactic on a case by case basis as there isn’t one solution to fit them all.
The Loner – This type of friend is very easy to spot. They have nothing going on in their lives and have a lot of free time to spend with you. The problem is that you are too busy creating your own personal paradise that you don’t have much time to spend on small talk. When you are constantly pursuing your goals your friendship becomes strained, causing them to feel lonely and neglected. The loner friend wishes you would fail just a tiny bit so that you need to lean on them for support. This would give them a great excuse to swoop in to your rescue and spend quality time with you.
The Solution – Of all your failure wishing friends this is the one that you ought to put in the most effort to keep. This type of friend simply misses the good times you spent together and wants to rekindle that relationship. Finding new adventures that you can both go on is an ideal way to keep things fresh and to make it worthwhile.
Great friends are hard to find and even harder to keep. It is important that you identify which friends are worth your time and which are simply going to cause you grief and agony. If you read this article and realize that you are one of those friends that are spreading negativity then now is the time to change! The pursuit of true growth is one of the most amazing goals one can achieve. If you enjoyed this post and found it useful please like, share, or subscribe!
” The best friend one can have is their inner self” – Negus Lamont