We have all experienced it before. That deep feeling of isolation in the pit of our stomach. The friends that we once thought were there for us are nowhere to be found. The partner or spouse that was supposed to have our back has vanished into a puff of smoke. The family members that are supposed to be thicker than water have evaporated into nothingness. It is a feeling of epic seclusion. Loneliness is one of the major causes of depression. It is a normal feeling that affects billions of people worldwide at any given moment. Below I will discuss five reasons you feel lonely and what you can do about it.
- Fake Friends – If you have ever been in a room surrounded by your cherished friends and still felt empty, you are most likely suffering from fake friend syndrome. Subconsciously these people do not have your best interests at heart. An example of this is a friend who only appears in your orbit when he/she has a favor to ask. Unfortunately, when it is time to return the act they pull a Houdini. The solution to this one is a swift form of justice. One must pull out the scissors and cut them like a piece of cloth. Fake friends will continue to suck away at your soul causing further inner turmoil and isolation.
- No Partner – If you’re single and you feel isolated then it is a natural spinoff of your upbringing. From a young age, we are conditioned to believe that two hearts must be united to feel whole. This is illustrated in movies, TV shows, to even the symbol of the heart. Contrary to popular belief the heart symbol usually depicted in media is two hearts merged together. Not having a partner can often make one feel like a failure. Furthermore, sexual desires arise causing further isolation as these desires are left unfulfilled. The solution to eliminating this kind of loneliness is to love yourself twice fold. I reiterate, you need to love yourself enough for two. When you love yourself mind, body, and soul you can surpass the need for a partner. When this need becomes a want you effectively level up your mentality. Once this is accomplished the feeling of loneliness will turn into one of eternal bliss. Why should your internal happiness rely on an external person?
- Filling A Void – Sometimes there is a nagging feeling that your missing something in life. It is difficult to pin point it but you know there is a hole inside of you. We as humans often try to fulfill this void with short-term pleasures. If you find yourself relying heavily on sex, drugs, alcohol, or social media likes for gratification then you most likely suffer from this type of loneliness. This void is often hard to fix due to the complex nature of it. Fortunately, there is a way to end the suffering. One must be willing to go out of their comfort zone and find their passion. Something that fulfills them in a way that the aforementioned never will. A great start to finding your passion is to look at some of your hobbies. The things that you enjoy doing in your free time are most likely your best bet. Imagine working on your hobby full time. I have mentioned this before and I will do so once again. The greatest entrepreneurs in the world have taken their passion and found a way to get paid for it. Filling that aching void will eliminate any sense of isolation.
- Vulnerability – Sometimes in life we feel weak to the will of those around us. This causes us to back ourselves into a corner causing us to feel isolated. This isolation turns into loneliness as there no one to turn too. Keep in mind this stems from being vulnerable. If you are naturally a docile person, then it is time to make a stand for yourself. Work on developing your voice. It will take time, energy, and effort but it is worthwhile. Once one has developed their own voice they can stand up for themselves in times of need. This results in a feeling of accomplishment and deep satisfaction.
- Solitude – Most of us don’t know who we really are. Because of this there will be times when we withdraw from society and enter hermit mode. Shacked up into the confines of our home we will begin to analyze our life. This often turns into dissatisfaction with where we are in life and where our path will lead us. It is not uncommon for a deep sense of loneliness to enter the mix when we realize that most of what we have is not what we want. The good news is that this is the first step towards inner growth. Once you accept that where you are in life is not where you want to be you pursue further knowledge. The key to working out this deep question is to continue to look inside and figure out who you want to be. There are a few helpful questions one should ask themselves. Is what I’m doing helping me be the person I want to be? What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? Would my younger self be proud of the person I am now? Once one has dived into their psyche they can find the answers to the biggest question of all. What is my purpose in life?
Ultimately – Loneliness doesn’t have to be the be all end all of happiness. It can often be the gateway to paradise. Once one tackles the hard questions in their lives they can make the necessary changes. It is up to you to take the first step in creating your paradise. Accepting that you are lonely and want more is a great place to start. These are just a few of the reasons why you may feel lonely, if you know of any others please drop a comment below. I would love to hear feedback on this post.
“Paradise is just a step in the right direction.” – Negus Lamont