5 Things Celibacy Teaches You

Sex is a wonderful thing…but what can abstinence teach you?

Now I’m going to start this post off with a disclaimer because this topic can be triggering for some people. This post is not an outlet for me to brag about my many sexual exploits nor is it designed to denigrate the struggles of someone who isn’t sexually experienced, can’t get a date, or has low self-esteem. This post is for those who have entered the volcanic grove that is dating in 2017, and are wondering if there is a better way. In this topic we will journey into the land of dating, and will look at another option that is often left off the table. This option is known as celibacy or in clearer terms abstaining from dating and sex.

I can honestly admit that at one point in time I was a borderline sex addict. I say borderline because I could control my appetites…when I felt like it. It just so happened that I rarely felt like it. Being an above average male with mentors who were players made it fairly easy for me to learn how to attract, entertain, and bed a woman. But above all, I understood women and used that to my advantage. As a former friend of mine once said. “Once you control the mind, you control the legs.” But there are a few things that happen when you sleep with multiple partners and have multiple short-term relationships. Truth be told each time I had a meaningless encounter it was like I gave a piece of my soul to that person. One day after another meaningless encounter it hit me. That a lot of these women see me as a piece of meat, just to be used for their satisfaction and done with. It stopped being fun and I saw things for the hollow experience that it really was. They were using me the same way I was using them. This was a vicious cycle that I knew had to be broken. In any case I decided to take a vow of celibacy for a year. It was easily the greatest and most productive year of my life, because of that I have decided to extend that year to four years. Here are five things a temporary vow of celibacy can teach you.

  1. You Learn to Love – There is no easy way to say this. When you stop dating and focusing on loving someone else you learn the true definition of love. This is a concept that is difficult for most to wrap their heads around. There are two types of unconditional love. The love for a parent to a child and the love for yourself. The next type of love that most are looking for is a romantic kind of love. This love is not inherently unconditional, it is the type of love designed to fill a void. Think about it logically for a second. In order for you to get to the point of loving someone they had to be the type of person you could fall in love with. They had to share your goals, dreams, make you laugh, say the right things, or look the right way. These are just some of the conditions that had to be met before you felt that deep connection. When you choose the path of celibacy you realize that the love in its purest form comes from within. As cliché as it sounds one must love themselves unconditionally before they step back into the dating arena. That is if you want to reach your highest good.

 

  1. You Have More Time – This one is self-explanatory. When you stop dating, you have more time to spend on other more productive things. A large portion of the “dating game” is wasted time. The wasted time getting dressed for dinner, the wasted time hoping they are the one, the failed attempts at conversation. There is a lot of time wasting in between the glorious moments. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of glorious moments when you strike is rich, but it often takes countless hours to get to that point. When you stop dating you can focus on things such as your career, learning a new language, and taking that vacation you always wanted. But above all, you get to spend time on your passion. Words cannot convey how great it feels to know what your passion is and to work on it. If you don’t know what your passion is that is fine too. Now you have the time to find out.

 

  1. It’s Not That Hard – When I first decided to become celibate I had to ask myself a very important question. How the hell am I going to pull this one off? The first few months were ridiculously challenging. But as things progress you become stronger mentally and emotionally. This leads to the revelation that anything is possible. If you can go months, even years without sex by choice then you can accomplish anything you put your mind too. This is part of the reason why so many spiritual gurus promote abstinence and celibacy. It provides you with mental strength.

 

  1. Mental Clarity – All that mental strength you gained turns into something much more profound. It becomes mental clarity. You start seeing the things that really matter in life. It is almost as if a switch flips in your brain. This is the type of mental clarity that comes with meditation and self-reflection. You start to learn more about your family and friends, while ultimately learning more about yourself. This clarity is further augmented by the connection with nature. It becomes easier for you to connect with nature once you’ve opened yourself up to that possibility. I’m not going to go into detail about the profound love nature can give you, that is something you must feel for yourself.

 

  1. Your One Will Wait – Right now your “one” is probably dating someone that is causing them inner turmoil. The time you spend developing yourself is something that your future life partner will appreciate. The amazing thing about life is that people pop into your life when you ready for them. They are either a blessing or a lesson. This means you don’t need to rush into something meaningless for the wrong reasons.

 

For some people a life of meaningless encounters can be one of the most exhilarating lifestyles imaginable. But for most it only ends up being a hollow experience that drastically shifts your mindset. To this day I still have skewed expectations from a partner. In the meantime, I’m going to continue my path of celibacy and self-love. For it is one that provides countless benefits and very few cons. A question we should all ask ourselves in this dating world is whether we are dating to fill a void or dating to augment our lives. But the big question is a very simple one. Who do you want to be a year from now?

 

“There are many types of kisses. A kiss to the lips, a kiss to the heart, and a kiss to the soul. The third brings about a love that transcends time.” – Negus Lamont

5 Signs from the Universe

No your mind isn’t playing tricks on you…these things mean something.

There are few things more reassuring in life than receiving a universal nod from the entity known as the universe. Although this will seem ludicrous at first there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that shows how powerful belief in the universe can be. When one pays attention to these signs it can provide a boost to morale and solidify one’s drive. The purpose of this post is to enlighten those who already have a certain level of belief. Here are five signs from the universe, what they mean, and what you can do about them.

 1.       Angel Numbers – Angel Numbers are repetitive numbers that appear in many different forms. These are numbers such as 111, 444,777, etc. which can manifest on license plates, phone numbers, grocery store receipts and virtually anywhere numbers appear. The beauty of these numbers is that they are all associated with a generic meaning that can be researched as well as a more personal meaning that you have the joy of deciphering. These numbers are often associated with positive vibrations such as protection, guidance, and alignment. When you see an Angel Number it is common practice to think of something positive that you want to happen in the future and take inspired action towards that future.

 2.       Things Manifest – Manifestation on any level is an amazing thing. Suddenly, it feels as if you have magical powers to create your own world. This can be something small such as thinking about someone only to have them call you a few moments later. Did you wish you had a little more cash on hand? You find $20 in one of your jacket pockets. These don’t always have to be small things. It is not uncommon for big things that you think were impossible to manifest, although from my experience it is usually in a way that you could never have imagined. When these things occur, it is time to be grateful at the gifts that you have been given, no matter how small they may appear to be. Ultimately, this is a sign that you can trust yourself to create what you really want in this world. All you must do is believe and take inspired action.

 3.       Information Appears – When you’re in sync with the universe you will often receive the right information at the perfect moment. We live in a world of abundant knowledge, yet the ability to sift through all of it is not one that can be possessed. Search engines such as google make life much easier, but how can you search for something that you didn’t know you needed to know? This is where the universe comes in. You’re working on an important project and are stuck. Unexpectedly, you see a recommended YouTube video pop up that solves your problem. You desire a change of pace and are feeling a bit lost on what direction you want to go. Suddenly, you see an ad for an interesting online opportunity. This sign is like having a group of cheerleaders at your back. It means you’re on the right path. The next logical step after experiencing this sign is to continue with the flow and decide to move forward.

 4.       Challenges Are Defeated – Challenges will happen. Things that you deem as adverse will appear out of nowhere causing you to wonder why the universe threw you for a loop. Just because the universe is in your corner doesn’t mean everything is going to be cherry blossoms and rainbows. However, there is a silver lining. As you make your way through these obstacles you’ll notice that things seem to work out for the better. You lose your job due to the company pulling out of the country, but you find out that your passion is a lucrative business. Sometimes we must journey through hell to find our paradise. The meaning behind this sign is that you have some things you need to learn, to achieve what’s best for you. This is where a paradigm shift is needed. Instead of looking at the world as good and bad, it is time to look at it as one long journey for you to enjoy. This includes the ups and the downs. The ups create joy while the downs create obstacles for you to smash through the window.

 5.       Eavesdropping – This one can be a bit challenging to decipher and from my experience is the least common of all the signs. Although considered rude, eavesdropping is something that everyone does unintentionally. As the saying goes “a closed mouth is an open ear”. Sometimes the universe will send you a vocal message in a place that you least expect it. It is possible to catch bits and pieces of a conversation only for it to apply to your life. When this occurs, it is time to dive deep into your soul to figure out what this message might mean. Keep in mind this sign is rare and not every conversation you overhear is a sign.

 These days the Law of Attraction has gained a lot of traction. Accompanied by the belief that the universe is a higher power, an entity, the collective consciousness, or even God itself. Whether you believe in the universe is an entirely different post all together. But one thing is for sure. These things do occur and one can almost always draw meaning from these personal experiences. Is it a mere coincidence or synchronicity? That is up to you to decide. As always, I would love to receive some feedback on this post. Please comment, like, share, or subscribe if you like what you read.

 “They flood the mind and give it a good swirl, but they will always have an impact. These are our thoughts.” – Negus Lamont