The Secrets of My Life

We all have dark secrets…sink your teeth into my own.

This is by far the most challenging post I’ve ever had to write. I know it will probably come across as callous, controversial, or even plain crazy. But this is something that must be done. How can I expect to help anyone create their own paradise when I don’t do the things necessary to maintain my own? If I don’t face my demons how can I grow? One thing that I believe to be necessary at this point in my life is full disclosure. In this post we will take a gander at five of my deepest darkest secrets. Truth be told I have plenty of secrets, as I’m the type of person who rarely reveals what I’m really thinking.

1.       My Condition – My condition has been gaining a lot of traction in the media lately, however there is still a stigma associated. One of the biggest reasons is due to how little is known about what causes it, and the unpredictable nature of people diagnosed. Last year I was diagnosed as Bi-Polar. Now this will come as a shock to anyone that has spent any amount of time with me. I come across as cool, calm, collected, and very rational. In fact, I’m usually the last person you would expect to react to anything emotionally, whether it is positive or negative. Some such as my mother will say this is due to the medication but what most don’t know about the meds is that they only suffocate some of the symptoms. It’s literally a shotgun of chemicals used to stem the bleeding. This brings me to my next point.

 

2.       My Mask – In society we all put on some type of mask that will allow us to integrate into the group and associate with each other. We have different versions of ourselves that we show to different people. This is an important part of life which allows society to function. The way we act around our friends is naturally going to be different than the way we act around our family. The difference between my mask and the mask of other’s is that I have a mask of sanity. I consciously make sure to have a rational explanation for anything and everything that I do and say. The funny thing that I have found is that virtually anything deemed crazy can be explained with genius logic. What do I mean by genius logic? Genius logic is something that the average person will deem as crazy. But someone with a creative mind can use said action to benefit them greatly, thus giving them a large advantage. An example of this is having a conversation with yourself. The average person views this as something irrational. However, it has been proven time and time again to improve mood, thought processing, and chances of success. Having deep and meaningful conversations with yourself allows you to find out who you are, what you believe, and where you want to be. In simple terms, Insanity and genius are two sides of the same coin. Being diagnosed as “crazy” has allowed me to explore the vast wealth of creativity and has catapulted my life forward.

 

3.       Heartless – This is something that I have struggled with during my adolescence. When I was a child I had the biggest heart, and felt profound love. Over time I have become very cold, calculating, and sometimes manipulative. I see what I want and I am willing to do anything necessary to achieve it. Now it’s not to say that I can’t create meaningful relationships or feel love. It is that these experiences are so few and far between that at one point I was convinced I was a psychopath. The word love has little meaning to me and doesn’t carry much weight, except when I refer to myself, my sister or mother. I believe it is overused while few demonstrate it. The odd thing about me is that I am well capable of deep expressions of love and will do almost anything for someone that I care about, but once again it is rare for me to find someone that I care about. It is easier for me to say that I care about people in opposed to saying that I love them. I am realistic in the belief that I will most likely commit to someone that I care about and not one that I love. Does this make me a bad person? I’m not sure.

 

4.       Legacy –  To me my legacy is more important than my life. I want to achieve more than I want to breathe. Let’s make one thing clear. When I say legacy, I don’t mean something small/minuscule as being liked by my peers, or doing well in school. I am talking about achieving something that someone has never done before. I am talking about making a mark on the world that will never be erased. Before all is said and done I want to be a legend, an icon, and a symbol that anything can be achieved. Currently, I sleep six hours a day, eat twice a day (intermittent fasting), cut off all music, movies, and T.V shows, meditate for an hour each day, took a four-year vow of celibacy, and only listen to inspirational videos from famous entrepreneurs. The determination and drive is there as well as the work ethic. I just know I need to be patient.

 

5.       Death – As crazy as this sounds, I look forward to death. No, I’m not suicidal and no I am not in a rush to die. I simply look forward to finding out if my spiritual beliefs are true. Note I say spiritual and not religious. I am fascinated with the concept of death. Just the entire mystery behind it. It is one of the few things that every living thing on this planet has in common and no one knows for sure what it truly means. Do we have ideas, beliefs, and guesses? Of course. But at the end of the day no one knows for sure. Another aspect of death that intrigues me is the reincarnation aspect. The concept of a phoenix rising from the ashes is something that is ingrained in our DNA. Without death there could be no life. Once again there is that concept of duality. Death and life like to play together, so how can I love one and not the other?

 

If you have made it this far I tip my hat off to you. I hope this post was easier to read than it was to write. I wrote this so I can put things in perspective. We all have our demons, challenges, and we all have a dark side. The truth of the matter is that we have a choice of whether we let those things define us. But above all we have our secrets that we feel no one will accept. The only person that needs to accept these things is yourself. Facing the one in the mirror is a giant leap towards creating your own paradise. I hope my “coming out” has motivated you to address a few of your own secrets and view them in a different light. Best of luck on your journey! 

 

“We’re all guilty of wearing a mask to show we are normal. Some of us are just willing to break that mask.” – Negus Lamont

4 Tricks Your Mind Plays On You

The mind has a way of tricking you into submission!

The brain is a wonderful piece of equipment while the mind is a glorious tool used by said equipment. To put it in basic terms you can call the brain the hardware of your computer while the mind is the software. As advanced life forms, we use more than our instincts to go about our daily activities. The mind manages our interpretations of the world by filtering our beliefs and habits. The mind can communicate to us in various ways. The most common way is through our emotions, dreams, sensations, imagination, and feelings. The consequence behind this function is that your perception becomes your reality. What you believe is ultimately what the world is to you, whether the collective consciousness of society agrees with you is irrelevant…or is it? Below are five tricks that your mind often plays on you, and what you can do about it!

 

  1. You’re the Villain – Sometimes in life it feels as if the world has come crashing down on you, almost as if the world is truly against you. Your car got towed, you got kicked out of your house, and your partner broke up with you. These things came out of nowhere to send you into a downward spiral. You’re in a panicked state you don’t know what to do and you don’t know where to turn. You look around and realize that you are alone and nothing you can do will change that fact. Finally, you look up to the sky and cry out to whoever is listening and ask, “why me?” We have all felt this way at some point or another. It is as if we are the villain in a superhero movie and the good guys have invaded our fortress only to shatter it to pieces. The harsh truth is that you aren’t the villain in any movie, and chances are no one is out to get you. Things happen in life that you will deem unfavorable. This isn’t the time to throw a pity party nor is it time to search for outside assistance. When the world comes crashing down and you truly feel alone that is when you at your most beautiful state of mind. No, I haven’t lost my mind and you didn’t read that incorrectly. Rock bottom is where epiphanies come from. This where you get to have a truly life altering moment. This is where you become that hero who overcomes adversity and become a stronger person for it. The first step to achieving this is to search within. You need to look inward and figure out what type of person you need to be to overcome this obstacle, then…become that person.

 

  1. You’re Not Good Enough – There are many who are controlled by their mind, some who control it, and few who work in harmony with it. Our thoughts often have a way of drifting out of control. Just when you think you have a handle on your crippling anxiety you get a strong kick to the gonads. You start worrying about what is going to come next and ultimately know it’s going to be a fail. It feels as if someone gave you a witch’s brew made of self-doubt and self-loathing and snuck it into your morning coffee. No matter what type of situation you’re in the consequence is the same. You doubt your abilities to accomplish a certain goal/task. You secretly believe that other people are simply better, luckier, or you’re lacking in some area. This is a common perception that forms when we see other people living successful lives on social media. Our friends, family, and even partner all seem to be doing something amazing with their lives. The truth of the matter is that you can accomplish virtually anything in this world if you are willing to put in the necessary pain for it. You can get that gorgeous partner if you take the first step and say hi. You can get that promotion if you put in the necessary time, energy, and work for it. Once again, a shift in perception is necessary. It will take time to gain that confidence, but so what? People say life is short. I completely disagree. Living your life is easily the longest thing you will ever have to do.

 

  1. I Will Just Be Like… – This one will probably have some people telling me to go screw myself, but so be it. These days, it is not uncommon for people to idolize a celebrity, or a successful person in business and follow their every word like the gospel. They will read, watch, and absorb everything that person has to say on how they made it to the big stage, and will use that as their template to success. Although there is nothing wrong with learning from the experts, things get out of hand when you start treating their every word like it came from the heavens and crashed right into your lap. The reason for this is due to how life works out for different people. There is no one size fit all solution for success. Yes, there are numerous agreed upon guidelines, but ultimately there isn’t a specific template that you can follow. This means it is important to read and learn about people you admire but you need to adjust based on your situation. Someone once told me that the path is forged already, I just need to follow their footsteps. This can be a destructive mentality to have. If you spend all your time copying the greats, does that really make you great? Besides life is ultimately a journey of finding your truth. How can you find your truth when you are busy acting like someone else? The solution is to take in as much useful information as possible and create something new from that. Create, create, create!

 

  1. One Day… – One day what? One day you will become the great one and everyone will bow to your every whim? One day you will have the woman/man of your dreams and they will love you like no one else has ever loved you? One day you will have that epic job that is easy, pays well, prestigious? What’s the problem with having dreams you may ask? Well there is nothing inherently wrong with having goals or dreams. That is a fundamental part of finding your own paradise. The problem arises when these goals and dreams are combined with inaction. Note I said inaction not inability. When one chooses not to work on their dreams/goals they are doing a disservice to themselves and those around them. By simply making grandiose claims to the world you are just filling up space and wasting another person’s time. The most common belief is that there isn’t enough time to accomplish one’s goals. Let’s calculate that for a moment. Say you work a 9-5 job and you sleep 8 hours with a 1-hour commute. You are still left with six hours a day to work on your goals, eat, and get dressed/shower. That is more than enough time to make progress on something that should matter to you more than life. If you believe you have this grand purpose in life then you should be willing to make the time necessary to accomplish it.

 

Ultimately, life can be defined as a journey of minds weaving in and out of each other’s worlds. It can be a beautiful thing when your software is working to optimum efficiency. It is up to you to be aware of the tricks that the mind can play on you and take steps to fix them.

“No matter how large or small we all make an impact on the world, our choices determine what kind of impact.” – Negus Lamont

6 Types of Social Media Commenters

Find out the six ways your friends interact with your posts!

Social Media can be a useful way to connect with your friends. Connecting with someone online is fun, effective, and above all convenient. While navigating the online bazaar of likes, shares, and comments it is a good idea to know what you’re getting into. Below I will discuss the five different types of Social Media commenters. Why is that important to creating your paradise? When you know the motives for someone’s comment you know how to receive it. It is not uncommon for arguments to start online based on misunderstandings. Additionally, being aware of your surroundings is a key component to establishing a path for yourself. When you know the type of people you will encounter online you can decide if it’s worth your time.

  1. Captain Save Em – This type of commenter likes to give positive reinforcement regardless of the situation. This is strictly done to attain the affection of a woman that he hopes will sleep with him. He will say things like what an amazing “queen” when a woman posts a half-naked picture of herself. The Captain Save Em constantly focuses on uplifting a woman no matter what her flaws may be. Additionally, he will come to the defense of any woman who he feels is being disrespected, no matter how small the slight may be. It is not uncommon for the man to become engaged in a heated argument with another man even if the woman took no offense. Because of his “attack dog” demeanor he is equally hated by other men and loved by most women. Out of all the commenters this one is the most controversial.
  2. The Instigator – This type of commenter is on social media for entertainment purposes. He/she will scroll down their timeline in search of any sort of drama. Once a target has been located The Instigator will add fuel to the fire. This is often done in the form adding a few choice words to further infuriate one side of the argument. Another favorite tactic of the Instigator is adding an ambiguous statement or picture. By doing this they serve to confuse both parties who are already in a frenzied state. This often leads to a bigger argument to clarify the original points of view. If you have ever used the Michael Jackson thriller picture where he is eating popcorn this one is for you.
  3. The Judge/Politician – This political servant in training can serve many different roles in a conversation. This type of commenter is often viewed as the mediator who will try to calm both sides down. They engage in the conversation so they can act as the moral judge, jury, and executioner. It is not uncommon for this type of commenter to say things such as “It’s not that serious guys” or “Let’s focus on the original point of the post”. At first glance, they may appear to be helping the situation but they often make things worse. There is a certain degree of self-righteousness that is involved when a random person chooses to be the judge of someone else’s argument. Who are they to determine how you should conduct yourself online? Additionally, the politician will enter an argument only to play the fence. He/she will acknowledge the valid points on both sides to establish a mutual ground between them. Once again, no one asked them to act as the mediator. Out of all the commenters this one is viewed as the most annoying.
  4. The Pickup Artist – This type of commenter can be spotted a mile away. Fortunately for him/her this doesn’t make them any less affective. The Pickup Artist has one objective. To attract, catch, and bed a mate. There is no confusing their intentions as they are transparent out of the gate. Like the Captain Save Em he will use compliments as his weapon of choice, but the difference lays in the execution. The Pick-Up artist uses a combination of humor mixed with sexual innuendo in the form of a compliment (often a backwards one). He will go back and forth with the woman in question before casually entering her private messages. He will ignore anyone and anything that does not fall in line with his objective. Because of this focus he/she is often successful (eventually). Yes, there are such things as a female pickup artist.
  5. The Keyboard Warrior – AKA the tough guy/girl. This type of commenter tends to start arguments just so they can use their favorite line “Let’s take this outside”. The Keyboard Warrior likes to appear physically tough and ready for a fight at the drop of a hat. Anytime they are losing an argument they will result to the threat of violence. What makes matter worse is that they are extremely convincing in their act, and can often scare away their target. Beneath it all, this person is a troll. They get off on the attention they receive from both genders. This is the villain of the commenter crew and just wants the “world” to burn.
  6. The Information Seeker – Out of all the types of commenters this is the only one who truly desires peace and harmony. He/she will comment encouraging words or add a simple informative comment on a post that piques their interest. These are the silent heroes of the Social Media world. All they want is to find informative, funny, or helpful posts. You can recognize this person by the type of content they bring to the table. This type of commenter will always add value to the discussion in some shape or form.

 

These are the six types of Social Media commenters that you will encounter when you post something online. They can range from harmless to soul draining. It is important that one keeps an eye out for the negative people that tend to pop up in life. If you feel I have missed any please drop a comment below. I’d love to hear feedback on this post!

 

“When you love yourself, the only like you need is the one given to the mirror.” – Negus Lamont